Here's a list I made of the three different types of friends every person needs:
Type 1: The Party Animal
This friend is the one who's vocabulary consists of phrases like "we tore that shit up last night" (what was torn up is never stated) and "Did I leave my underwear at the club on Madison or the other one we went to after...or did I lose it in between?" Her body will have an alcohol tolerance level of "medical miracle"and her Iphones (yes, plural) will read like a who's who of the late night scene. If she can be reached during the day then she doesn't fit into this category.
Type 2: The Therapist
This is the friend that remains calm through everything: break-ups, divorces, late night emergency room visits, armageddon, getting fired. The one that will offer tea, a warm blanket, and good advice. This friend should advise you against "burning down the motherf*ckers car with the motherf*cker in it" and should in no way drive you to the petrol station for some "soda, gum...and petrol".
Type 3: The Competitive Career Woman
This friend will meet you for an early dinner at a restaurant that only caters to the elite. You will dine on a half inch piece of steak with possibly half a celery stalk...and shell out $300 on this 5-star meal. This friend is always in a designer suit with hair that is incapable of being anything other than perfect. Most of her sentences will start with "so I got a promotion today" and end with "...that was right before I saved the stock market from crashing again."
What two other types can you think of?
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